It's All Lies!!!

The art of telling fibs is alive and well and Nottingham unveils the biggest liar in the world.


Plenty of tall tales have been told at Nottingham’s Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem pub over the centuries. In 2004 it's become the venue for a fresh bunch of dirty liars. And no, it wasn’t a group of lads on the pull – nine of Nottinghamshire’s finest storytellers were battling it out for the dubious title of ‘World’s Greatest Liar.’


The event was organised by 55-year-old Pete Davis, better known as Pete the Fireman (because he is a fireman – and that’s the truth.) Pete runs the Storytellers of Nottingham, a club that meets in Ye Olde Trip every month to lie to each other (or tell stories, as they like to put it).
This year, the competition had an extra unbelievable twist: Pete won, with a big fat lie about his vampiric parents. "I’ve been running this for six years," he said after thanking himself, "And this is the first time I’ve won."

So, as the organiser – did you expect to win?
"No I didn’t! I’ve been storytelling for eight years…it’s a strange thing to want to be called the world’s greatest liar. Bill Kirkham, whose won the competition for the last three years, he’s an ex-Chief Superintendent of Police. Worrying, isn’t it?"

What does your wife think of your talent for lying?
"She’s my wife. She’s used to it!"

And what do your colleagues in the Fire Brigade think of your storytelling?
"They thought it was silly at first, but now they’re quite taken with it. They really think it’s fantastic. They are incredible storytellers, firemen."

Given that you are now the World’s Greatest Liar, any advice for our politicians?
"Basically, pack it in. Unless you’re doing it for fun. You’re upsetting lot of people by lying, so behave. Tony Blair wouldn’t know the truth if it bit him in the arse! Tell the truth – save the lies for our competition next year."

Can you give us an example of how you use your talent in everyday life?
"At work we get people from the Nottingham Evening Post ringing us for stories and one morning I told a guy a meteor had hit the jewel tower. I said we’d found the meteorite while we were drilling. He asked how I knew it was a meteorite, I said, ‘I’m a trained geologist… It’s really rare.’ He asked if he could come to the station and take a picture, so I told him to come back at 9, when the station officer was in. That was when we went off duty. But he phoned at quarter to nine and the station manager tannoys over, he says, ‘Blue Watch – which whatsit told the Post about the meteorite?’ That was a true one. Well, a true cheat anyway."

With Christmas coming up, what do you make of the whole Father Christmas myth?
"I like it. I’m a grandfather – it’s nice for the kiddies. It’s not a Christian thing, is it, Father Christmas? I’m a pagan anyway, but I’ll celebrate anything that involves eating pies and boozing!"


The Storytellers of Nottingham meet on the last Thursday of every month and anyone is welcome. Just remember to take everything they say with a pinch of salt.